Camp Good Grief: A decade of finding fun again

At Camp Good Grief, campers write letters to the loved ones they've lost and attach them to balloons they then release.

In the end, they have to let the balloon go.

It’s the final and most difficult part of a journey many children take each year.

For a decade, Baptist Trinity Hospice, through a grant from the Baptist Memorial Health Care Foundation, has been offering a summer camp that no one wants to attend because, if you attend, you have to let the balloon go.

The 2008 Camp Good Grief marked the 10th year the camp has helped children who have lost a loved one. Since its inception, more than 600 grieving children have experienced Camp Good Grief.

Every year, it’s full.

In 1999, Baptist responded to the need through a foundation grant to begin the program. A multidisciplinary steering committee designed the camp and the program. The first camp was designed for 30 children.

“We were seeing more and more children who had a parent dying or were being raised by grandparents,” said Angela Hamblen, director of bereavement services at Baptist Trinity Hospice. “As a part of hospice care, providing bereavement services for grieving family members was part of the continuum of care. But we saw a growing need to offer something specifically for children.”

The goal of the free annual camp is to give children an enjoyable, accepting, and supportive environment where they can freely express their feelings about the loss of a loved one. Under the guidance of professional bereavement staff, campers have the opportunity to meet with other children who have experienced similar losses and to engage in activities involving art, music, and recreation through which they can explore their grief. But the camp is also fun. They play games, swim, toss water balloons at one another, and realize they are not alone; campers have volunteers, their camp buddy, assigned to them during the camp.

“I remember that first year hoping we’d get 30 applications,” Hamblen said. “We got more than 100.”

The lifeblood of the camp is the volunteers, who adopt a camper as their buddy during camp.

“Some of the volunteers are former campers or have a story of personal loss to relate to the children,” Hamblen said. “Volunteers are essential to creating that secure space for the campers to delve into their grief. They are critical to the children.”

And those volunteers get more in return.

“The past two years as a volunteer have been the big step I’ve taken in dealing with my own grief and honoring my brother’s death,” said Ken Latta. His brother, John Latta, was killed just a few days after volunteering at Camp Good Grief in 2006. “Camp is a refresher course each year. I love how I’m able to relate to the kids, and camp is the one place where you can find a community of grievers who want to launch water balloons at each other.”

In addition to volunteers, pet therapy dogs also attend camp. They complement the work the volunteers do and sometimes reach campers in a way a volunteer cannot.

“Kids are drawn to the pet therapy dogs because they don’t tell them what to do,” Hamblen said. “Campers tell the dogs their secrets. Some cry to the dogs. They are critical to our work with the campers. They also help some of the campers who are disengaged; they are more drawn to the dogs.”

And somehow, the dogs just know who needs them. During one camp, a camper did not want to attend the memorial service. He was at camp because his mother had died. Casey, one of the pet therapy dogs, was beside him.

“He asked me if Casey’s mom had died,” Hamblen said. “I told him ‘yes,’ and he said, ‘Well, I’d better go so I can help her.’ So they went together to the memorial service.”

A camper at Teen Camp Good Grief recalled her most memorable experience at the close of camp being when she rode down the zip line after seeing Grandma Helen, mother of Baptist Memorial Health Care President and CEO Stephen Reynolds, go down the line.

“She was scared, too,” she said about Ms. Reynolds. “But Grandma Helen showed her that no matter how old you are, you can face your fears with the help and support of others,” Hamblen said.

In 2000, camp expanded to 40 campers. Teen Camp Good Grief and Adult Camp Good Grief were added in 2001 and 2003. In fact, four of the adults in that first camp had children in the other camps. In 2005, Baptist Trinity Hospice opened the Baptist Trinity Center for Good Grief to provide year-round grief support and counseling, thanks to a grant from the Baptist Memorial Health Care Foundation. A groundbreaking ceremony for the Baptist Trinity Hospice House and the Kemmons Wilson Family Center for Good Grief was held March 26, 2008, symbolizing the beginning of construction for Baptist Trinity’s residential hospice complex on the campus of Baptist Memorial Hospital-Collierville.

Bereavement programs focus on getting kids to do their jobs – which is to have fun. At camp, therapy and play intertwine, and all the activities lead to the final emotional event. Campers write letters to their lost loved ones. At teen camp, campers float their letters in a pool with a candle. At Camp Good Grief, campers write letters and attach them to balloons they then release. They pour everything they have into those letters — it is what couldn’t be said and what should have been said.

Camp is fun, but valuable work is being accomplished, according to the testimonials of campers’ family members:

• “You are real angels, a blessing.”
  
• “This is the best thing my child has been involved in since his mother’s death.”
  
• “My son was very reluctant in the beginning, but he benefited from everything.”
  
• “I’m very thankful my daughter was able to attend, open up, and talk about her feelings for the first time.”
  
• “Thank you.”
  
• “Thank you for giving me back my daughter.”

Camp is hard work. Campers are asked to emotionally go to a place they aren’t sure about. And other campers and volunteers see these children at their most vulnerable moments.

“It’s an opportunity to help someone during their most difficult time,” said volunteer Paul Walker.

“I help because I know the effort is worth it. We begin by talking, throwing a ball or squirting mustard on each other during our group games,” said Pat Womac, a volunteer. “But saying goodbye to a life with their loved one means digging deep and thinking about things that are difficult to face.”

Because in the end, they don’t forget. But they do have to say goodbye. And in 10 years, the final memorial ceremony hasn’t really changed. It is respectful. Each camper has a moment. The only sound is from the names being read. Holding the balloon one moment, the camper then lets go.

“Some do it right away, and some don’t want to,” Janet Hunt, volunteer, said. “One girl held onto the balloon as if it were her father, then, all of a sudden, threw it into the air.

“Watching the children interact with each other during the ceremony is my favorite time,” said volunteer David Dugger. “It’s silent. Those children all watch each other and honor each other’s pain.”

Karen Pope, grief counselor at the Baptist Trinity Center for Good Grief, remembered one camper who didn’t speak the entire camp but cried when she wrote the letter, knowing that was goodbye. But Pope’s story is what makes the 10-year anniversary not a milestone, but simply a step toward a continually growing mission.

“At the end of camp, following the memorial service, we always keep extra balloons for the volunteers and staff members in case they want to release a balloon,” Hamblen said. “Karen’s dad had recently died, and she went and picked out a balloon to release. As she was holding the balloon, one of the children participating in the camp walked over and held her hand while she let the balloon go.”

Kemmons Wilson Family Center for Good Grief Fund
The Kemmons Wilson Family Center for Good Grief provides free comprehensive bereavement services for children, adolescents, and adults, including our Camp Good Grief programs.

• Please click here to give to this fund.